You pick up a girl at a club and get lucky enough to bring her back to your place. Things start to get hot and heavy and you start to undress each other. She has on the sexiest underwear that forces your manhood to salute in appreciation. And what will she find when you remove your pants? Stained, ripped, out of style briefs, or stiff, poorly fitting boxers?

If you don’t think that women notice or care about your underwear, then you obviously live under a rock. You should spend as much time picking out the right underwear as you do choosing the right cologne or properly manscaping your manhood. So here are a few suggestions.

The days of wearing bikini briefs are gone. In fact, it is hard to believe that they were ever a popular choice. And, although it may be vogue in Europe, we live in the United States. And, let’s be honest, you should never put on a pair of underwear that remind us of our favorite childhood cartoon character.

If you like wearing boxers, don’t be cheap. You can purchase quality, name brand boxers at discount department stores. Trust me, getting a decent pair won’t break the bank. There is nothing appealing about the look and feel of cardboard. Lean towards silk or cotton, not some creepy synthetic blend. And you need to make sure they fit properly. Tight boxers don’t make you appear well endowed; they make you look awkward. And if they are too big, we will assume you don’t have a clue what size you are, you are too lazy to look at the label when picking them out, or you are wearing some fat guy’s hand me downs.

If you think women are turned on by the hammock or the G-string type of underwear, think again. It is a ridiculous look and most men do not have the kind of body that can even support that style.

There are mixed reviews on the “nudie” look. Many women agree that it can be very sexy…but only, and I cannot stress this emphatically enough, ONLY if you have impeccable hygiene. If you’re the kind of dude that doesn’t wash his jeans very often, then keep your junk covered. On the other hand, if the woman feels that your jeans are clean and your parts are freshly groomed and cleaned, the “no undie” look can be quite a turn on.

The general consensus from men, women, heterosexuals as well as homosexuals was that boxer briefs are your best bet. The way they form your body can definitely work to your advantage. It gives us a hint of what we can look forward to. Briefs also make it so there are no panty lines. Seeing underwear lines are as tacky on men as they are on women.

So please take a minute to go through your underwear drawer. Anything ripped, stained, or abrasive needs to go. And if you put something on that is too big or too small, toss it.

We want your clean, well-groomed package wrapped appropriately.